ALAN IS LONE SPARKLER
Alan C was a lone sparkler in a night of confusion, chaos and carnage.
The Man with Hat is attempting to get 40 winks after his daily toil followed by a quick snack and a shower before heading off for what was always going to be a tricky fixture against East Cheshire. Then at 5.30pm he hears the sickening sound of his telephone and anyone who has captained will tell you they know, at that time, what this means. We are now a player down. An obvious replacement is Francis who is often at the club even when he has no game. His phone rings out and I am subsequently told that it has been lost. At the club we have Alan C who has never played a competitive game. Alan – you’re in, Alan we don’t need you now as Denzil is free, Alan we do need you now Denzil is needed for the Stoke league fixture and so on and on and on and on it went with Alan eventually joining the other 21 players for this double fixture. Man with Hat slumps into his newly elevated position of Board 1 opposite John who is massively out-grading me. I look down the far side of the room and there is Franny, I start to headbutt the palm of my hand a la John Cleese, this isn’t going to end well!
Almost immediately it became apparent that some clocks used in last week’s Stoke fixture had been reset incorrectly giving out increments of 10 minutes instead of 10 seconds. Cue pandemonium before the situation is finally resolved by the Secretary. A huge thank you and an apology from The Hat to the Secretary for still not achieving his NVQ Level 2 in Digital Clock settings. It should also be noted that this didn’t end well for the Secretary as after returning to his board he immediately blundered and resigned instantly.
And finally the chess… Tony was first back in the hutch after struggling with his opponent Geoff’s Owens Defence. He was looking in good shape until I realised he was a piece down. A similar fete awaited Marc who also fell after falling behind in material against Keven. Tom was also a piece down against Tudor and struggled in vain to equalise against the wily Welshman and author of the second best chess blog in the world. Board 5 and this looked better. John A looking for another score to add to his debut ½ from last month appeared to be well on course for at least a whitewash saving ½ until he blundered gifting the full point to his experienced opponent David T. Mr Hat was just happy not to be the first to finish or the second, third, or fourth. My opponent admitted that he had banged out the opening moves fast because he had played them so many times before. Since I was playing this without memory then I’ll take that as a compliment. Well played to John R though for his ruthless win and its now 0-5. Cue the resistance! Alone a man was standing, prepared to die on his sword if necessary. No way was he going to let this be a whitewash. A giant colossus of a man steps from the shadows and with a huge bishop begins to scythe down his opponents pawns. Alan, the last second stand in, in a beautiful game that ebbed and flowed had conquered Jim and secured a win that no-one had anticipated.
No more cheesy firework puns from this blogger – I’ve thrown them on the Pun fire!!
(A trademark shaking of the head and a sigh from Mrs Hat)!